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Jul. 9th, 2012

I kind of love when my friend R gets into deeply philosophical debates with me when he's drunk. It's the only time I feel as if I can keep up...



My mom passed away last night. It was quiet and peaceful: she wasn't in any pain. It was also a bit of a shock. She was in hospice, so we had been expecting it to some extent, but we weren't expecting it so soon. Jonathan has been my rock and I am grateful to him for everything. Little Human sort of gets it, but not quite. I feel bad for him, and I just want to hold him forever. Nikki and Kit came over to help and I needed them more than I realized.

I'll be okay. We'll all be okay.

I miss you mama.

PayPal can go to hell

PayPal has decided that donating gifts and money to needy children and families is wrong. So wrong that they’ll take their cut of the donations, then require that the organizer refund all the money (that PayPal took their cut of); then allow the organizer to sell the (already purchased) gifts (and take a cut of the sales); then decide that because it’s not a charity for cats, but for kids, all of the sales have to be refunded (giving PayPal another transaction cut); and then, to add insult to injury, freezing the personal account of the organizer.


Please share this. I am so very angry right now.



I've never pretended to be more than what I am.

I'm a mom.

I am a geeky/artsy girl.

I spend most of my time with my head in the clouds. I kind of like it that way.

I'm aware that I often come across as shallow and slightly daft. I'm okay with that too.

I am occasionally naive and often confused.

I want to believe the best of people.

I don't like being treated like I'm simple because my particular aptitudes do not equate with someone else's.

I tend to keep deeper thoughts to myself for fear of being mocked.

I like silly, childish things. I revel in them. Why not?

I'm entirely too attached to my cat.

I am impulsive.

I cry sometimes for no good reason.

I've been known to laugh at inopportune moments.

I have deep, painful secrets.

I dream in color.

I'm slightly annoying.

I drink entirely too much coffee.

I hear music in colors.

I am more grateful to my friends than they will ever know.

I love with abandon.


I don't get it.

I really just don't get it. I don't get what makes me special to the people I have been with in the past. Even a few of my guy friends that I wasn't ever in a romantic relationship with previously have told me that they wanted to be. Almost all of them came looking for me and not the other way around. It's almost a running joke around here, because they have been crawling out of the woodwork lately.

I really don't get it though. I'm not that exceptional. I'm cute, I guess, but not really what would be considered "pretty". I think I'm fairly intelligent, but there are much smarter and more attractive women. I really don't understand what it is. I have one guy friend that I feel comfortable enough to ask him why, but that doesn't answer for any of the others and I don't know how to ask without them thinking I am asking for reasons other than honest curiosity.

This is really not a "validate me PLEASE" post. Just thoughts that have been rolling around since the other night. I just don't get it.


Jan. 20th, 2011

I kind of fell off the planet for a little while. This year has started out odd. I was really stressing my birthday this year, and so it became this huge mess and I spent the entire weekend crying. I can't even precisely say what went wrong. I think this age was stressing me, which is bizarre since last year was what is considered a "milestone" year.

I think part of it was also that I was starting school the Monday after that weekend. I was very stressed about this, but for the most part it has been fairly simple. I am currently at over 100% scores in all of my classes, which is super awesome. I am really loving being back at school. I forgot how much I really enjoyed it. This week was a bit odd because I caught a cold from somewhere and I had to call into the only class I am currently taking on campus. I'm 3 sections ahead in that class already and the teacher was okay with me not being there.

Things here at the house are okay, for the most part. It's a difficult situation, but we are managing. I feel a little sad about certain things that could not be dealt with before it got to this point. I was feeling a little resentful about it, and honestly, I probably still do, but I am fully aware that it isn't helping anything and that I need to just let it go.

Otherwise, life is not currently kicking my ass. I hope it stays this way for a while.
To those who celebrate it:

Merry Christmas!

To everyone else: 




Passed my GED with flying colors. Passed that accuplacer with at least decently flying colors and I don't have to take any of the remedial classes.

I am all set to register for classes on Monday morning. It looks like I will only have one class that I will have to leave my house for, lol. I am so lazy.

I also got all financial aid stuff figured out, so I should be able to buy a halfway decent car to get me to and from school.



New Tat!

Clicky to see it since I seem to be photobucket illiterate at the momentCollapse )

They don't look even, but they are. My hands weren't even. Excuse the red swollen-ness...

Also, Little Human had a blast at the party =)

{EDIT} HOLY CRAP THAT'S HUUUUUGE!!! I edited it smaller, I dunno why it refuses to show up that way =(


Well, I took my GED. I am pretty sure that I passed. I'm not quite sure how I couldn't, but we'll see. I still have to take my accuplacer. I have to talk to Financial Aid, since when I filled it all out, I didn't think I wanted to take loans. The recurring car issue has convinced me otherwise :/

Luckily I discovered today that I am eligible for early registration, so I will hopefully be able to take the classes I want to take and not just the ones that have openings. I know there will be some prerequisites, but I think I should at least have one class that will be something I want to take.

I am getting a new tattoo tomorrow. It's my *I acted like a mother fucking adult this week* - see icon - present to myself. I will post pics. This is the one that sativadivinorum will be proud of. Now if only she was around to see it...

Little human is also attending his first classmate birthday party tomorrow. He should enjoy that. I just need to pick up a gift for her.

Otherwise, all is well-ish. How are my peeps???